Day 135

Hey friends, it's been awhile.

You know, Saturday morning, I woke up early, left super early, and drove all the way home. About 13 hours. Ouch.

Sunday it was a wonderful Mother's Day spending it with my mom.

But ultimately, what has been consuming my time has been studying for the LSAT. That's the Law School Admissions Test.

Pretty creative, right? But no, it's probably the toughest test you will ever take in your life. It's not like the PSAT or the GMAT or the GRE or the MCAT that tests you on knowledge- this is a test that challenges logic, skill, and ultimately strategy.

I am so blessed that for Christmas, my parents got me a prep course and a tutor. Praise the Lord because trust me, I need it. I have never been one for standardized tests, I have never been one to take a test that really has no relevance in the legal profession, but this test ultimately defines the course of my life. It defines where I can go to Law School and the money that I'll receive.

But ultimately, is that all this test is? Why does this 4 hour event define the rest of my life? And why am I not letting God completely take the reigns.

I tell you, God has given me such strength to get through these last few days of intense studying, and I am confident that he will let me persevere through these next few weeks.

"I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me."
Philippians 4:13

And I know that I use this one a lot, but it's truly one of my absolute favorites:
"Have you never heard?
    Have you never understood?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
    No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
He gives power to the weak
    and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
    and young men will fall in exhaustion. 
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
    They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
    They will walk and not faint."
Isaiah 40:28-31

And you know what, I really need to stop stressing out about this test--about all the lessons I need to do, the homework I need to do, the practice tests I need to accomplish... Because ultimately, God is going to get me through, and everything that happens is going to be for his perfect and sovereign will.

Just like David--he endured constant fear from Saul, having tried to been killed several times by him. He endured betrayal, hatred, and was humble and showed grace and humility in the face of it. He truly exhibited God's perfect will for us. 

Last night at my young adults group, my dear, dear friend and youth pastor shared a message on this very subject, which is completely wild considering 1 Samuel has been the chapter from my Old Testament that I've been reading. Basically, my friend said how David, having been anointed by Samuel and God, was working as a servant--he was living a life in between his present and his destiny. But he used that for his benefit--he gained the favor, love, and admiration of all the people and troops during that time so he could truly become a leader. 

I'm going to use my in between time for the benefit of the course of my life, my destiny. The present may not be where I previously had envisioned myself. The stress, worry, and fear may not be what I had wanted to be living in, but I'm going to channel all that for the good of my God. I'm going to use my time to learn something, to fulfill God's perfect plan, and maybe I can do well on the LSAT in the process :) If not, then God has other plans for me.


God bless,
Lauren