Day 30

January is just a very long month. It seems that I have been at school forever already, but I've only been here for 18 days, minus the 3 days in Hot Springs, so 15 days. I feel like my schedule is full, my routine is in place, and my homework is just as daunting as ever.

Psalm 25
^"1 O LORD, I give my life to you.
    ² I trust in you, my God!
   Do not let me be disgraced,
      or let my enemies rejoice in my defeat.
 ³ No one who trusts in you will ever be disgraced,
      but disgrace comes to those who try to deceive others.
 ⁴ Show me the right path, O LORD;
      point out the road for me to follow.
 ⁵ Lead me by your truth and teach me,
      for you are the God who saves me.
      All day long I put my hope in you.
 ⁶ Remember, O LORD, your compassion and unfailing love,
      which you have shown from long ages past.
 ⁷ Do not remember the rebellious sins of my youth.
      Remember me in the light of your unfailing love,
      for you are merciful, O LORD.
 ⁸ The LORD is good and does what is right;
      he shows the proper path to those who go astray.
 ⁹ He leads the humble in doing right,
      teaching them his way.
 ¹⁰ The LORD leads with unfailing love and faithfulness
      all who keep his covenant and obey his demands.
 ¹¹ For the honor of your name, O LORD,
      forgive my many, many sins.
 ¹² Who are those who fear the LORD?
      He will show them the path they should choose.
 ¹³ They will live in prosperity,
      and their children will inherit the land.
 ¹⁴ The LORD is a friend to those who fear him.
      He teaches them his covenant.
 ¹⁵ My eyes are always on the LORD,
      for he rescues me from the traps of my enemies."

I really trust that God will take care of my life. There are some things that he is orchestrating right now that I want to be impatient about. I want to act on my own accord and take things into my own hands. I want what I want and I want it now... But God doesn't work that way. You either trust him, or you don't. Those who trust him won't be disgraced, those who trust him will get to the RIGHT path at the RIGHT time. Isn't that what is most important? I am purposing to live for what God wants me to do TODAY rather than focus on the desires of my heart. Those will come in time. Those will come when I'm ready, and everyone involved is ready.

See that's what we don't get. When we take matters into our own hands, we will be defeated. Things will not turn out in God's perfect design because they aren't. They are the designs of the enemy--they are a victory for the devil. I mean, "The Lord is good and does what is right." But we must have him "forgive [our] many, many sins." We are all sinners. That means, whatever WE decide to do, is going to be centered around sin. Whatever we take into our own hands is straying off God's perfect path.

I promise you, I have made enough mistakes in my life that I don't want anything less than God's perfect plan, because I know what a disaster my own plans turn out to be. I don't want anyone else to rule my life because I know how wonderful God's love is and the amazing plans that he has laid for me.

Again, IT'S IN THE GOSPEL!! ""For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.""

God knows what's up. I mean, he told Moses exactly how many times Pharaoh would refuse before the Israelites could leave. God is omnipotent! Of course he knows!

As for me, I don't want to stray from this path. I mean, I will, and I do everyday. But I don't want my life to turn 180 again. I don't want to go back to the place I was--living for myself and making my own decisions. I have gotten so much gratification from being patient and from waiting on the Lord. I know that God has a perfect an amazing plan better than anything I could ever imagine. And I'm praying everyday.

That's all we can do right?

I'm going to close with the lyrics from the song by John Waller. This song appears in the movie Fireproof and is just a real testament to what my life is doing right now.

"I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord
And I am hopeful, I'm waiting on You Lord
Though it is painful, but patiently I will wait

And I will move ahead bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race even while I wait

I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord
And I am peaceful, I'm waiting on You Lord
Though it's not easy no, but faithfully I will wait
Yes, I will wait

And I will move ahead bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race even while I wait

I will move ahead bold and confident
I'll be taking every step in obedience, yeah

While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint

And I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You Lord

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting"

God bless,
Lauren

New Year, New Me!

This year, I have purposed by heart to serve God in a way I have never done before. I have always believed, I've always tried to put him first in my life, but let's face it--I ALWAYS fall short. I have been caught up in the ways of the world. I have not loved my enemies or my neighbors as myself. I have not taken care of my body as the temple God has designed. Ultimately--I have let the world dictate my actions and reactions.

Why start a blog? Well, because quite frankly, I have problems with following through on my commitments if there is no accountability. I easily make excuses for things and I just give up. Why do we always seem to accept the failures without a fight?? In 2011, I resolved to not drink cokes for a year (yes, I do call them cokes!) and it was pretty difficult, but there were always people around me who knew I wasn't drinking them and would be able to hold me accountable. This is what I'm hoping a blog will do--make me post about each day, the struggle's, triumph's, and God's presence in all of it!

The challenge? I am going to read the Bible in a year. The only way to combat the evils of this world is to know the word!

For Christmas, I got the One Year Bible and it divides the Bible up into passages for each day. My mama and I's morning routine has been to sit outside, drink our coffee, and read! She reads the paper and I have been reading books (even though I told myself that I was taking a break from reading because I read so much at college). I have finished two books already, and I started reading the Bible this morning. It opened with the Creation story of course. It was so serene, and so wonderful to be sitting in God's creation and reading how much it pleased God.

I think the passage that I read today that spoke most to me was Psalm 1:1-6. It says that believers should not be tied down to sinners. What struck me was that it's not the non-believers, but the SINNERS--those who believe and still choose to sin. Umm, everyone? I tend to gravitate towards those who sin, those who need help, but the problem is I don't hold my grounds and fall in the actions of those sinners.

The choice is mine--Are those who choose to live in sin, not caring about living righteously and striving for the fruits of the spirit the types of people I should be keeping in company? I love those people, they have been there for me, but my heart is telling me to get distance, to minister the best ways I can by example, but I know that I am weak.

Lord,  you deserve my all. You deserve every fiber of my being and you deserve my praises continually. I thank you, Father, for this life, for my wonderful and supportive family, for new friendships that are going to blossom in Your will, and ultimately, I thank you for life! Be my life, dictate my actions, and help me keep YOU at the center of everything. Praise God from who all blessings flow!

My God bless you,
Lauren