Day 30

January is just a very long month. It seems that I have been at school forever already, but I've only been here for 18 days, minus the 3 days in Hot Springs, so 15 days. I feel like my schedule is full, my routine is in place, and my homework is just as daunting as ever.

Psalm 25
^"1 O LORD, I give my life to you.
    ² I trust in you, my God!
   Do not let me be disgraced,
      or let my enemies rejoice in my defeat.
 ³ No one who trusts in you will ever be disgraced,
      but disgrace comes to those who try to deceive others.
 ⁴ Show me the right path, O LORD;
      point out the road for me to follow.
 ⁵ Lead me by your truth and teach me,
      for you are the God who saves me.
      All day long I put my hope in you.
 ⁶ Remember, O LORD, your compassion and unfailing love,
      which you have shown from long ages past.
 ⁷ Do not remember the rebellious sins of my youth.
      Remember me in the light of your unfailing love,
      for you are merciful, O LORD.
 ⁸ The LORD is good and does what is right;
      he shows the proper path to those who go astray.
 ⁹ He leads the humble in doing right,
      teaching them his way.
 ¹⁰ The LORD leads with unfailing love and faithfulness
      all who keep his covenant and obey his demands.
 ¹¹ For the honor of your name, O LORD,
      forgive my many, many sins.
 ¹² Who are those who fear the LORD?
      He will show them the path they should choose.
 ¹³ They will live in prosperity,
      and their children will inherit the land.
 ¹⁴ The LORD is a friend to those who fear him.
      He teaches them his covenant.
 ¹⁵ My eyes are always on the LORD,
      for he rescues me from the traps of my enemies."

I really trust that God will take care of my life. There are some things that he is orchestrating right now that I want to be impatient about. I want to act on my own accord and take things into my own hands. I want what I want and I want it now... But God doesn't work that way. You either trust him, or you don't. Those who trust him won't be disgraced, those who trust him will get to the RIGHT path at the RIGHT time. Isn't that what is most important? I am purposing to live for what God wants me to do TODAY rather than focus on the desires of my heart. Those will come in time. Those will come when I'm ready, and everyone involved is ready.

See that's what we don't get. When we take matters into our own hands, we will be defeated. Things will not turn out in God's perfect design because they aren't. They are the designs of the enemy--they are a victory for the devil. I mean, "The Lord is good and does what is right." But we must have him "forgive [our] many, many sins." We are all sinners. That means, whatever WE decide to do, is going to be centered around sin. Whatever we take into our own hands is straying off God's perfect path.

I promise you, I have made enough mistakes in my life that I don't want anything less than God's perfect plan, because I know what a disaster my own plans turn out to be. I don't want anyone else to rule my life because I know how wonderful God's love is and the amazing plans that he has laid for me.

Again, IT'S IN THE GOSPEL!! ""For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.""

God knows what's up. I mean, he told Moses exactly how many times Pharaoh would refuse before the Israelites could leave. God is omnipotent! Of course he knows!

As for me, I don't want to stray from this path. I mean, I will, and I do everyday. But I don't want my life to turn 180 again. I don't want to go back to the place I was--living for myself and making my own decisions. I have gotten so much gratification from being patient and from waiting on the Lord. I know that God has a perfect an amazing plan better than anything I could ever imagine. And I'm praying everyday.

That's all we can do right?

I'm going to close with the lyrics from the song by John Waller. This song appears in the movie Fireproof and is just a real testament to what my life is doing right now.

"I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord
And I am hopeful, I'm waiting on You Lord
Though it is painful, but patiently I will wait

And I will move ahead bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race even while I wait

I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord
And I am peaceful, I'm waiting on You Lord
Though it's not easy no, but faithfully I will wait
Yes, I will wait

And I will move ahead bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race even while I wait

I will move ahead bold and confident
I'll be taking every step in obedience, yeah

While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint

And I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You Lord

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting"

God bless,
Lauren