Day 88

To comment on what I've been reading in Deuteronomy: I don't think that I would ever want to eat any sort of vulture or buzzard, God, so no worries.

Yuck.

But, I guess, if you were out in the desert, traveling to the Promised Land, and had nothing else to eat, a buzzard might sound enticing. In my current state, I have enough to live off of for weeks, so I would pass and just think about the great tan I must be getting. Ha!

I hate it when I let myself get disappointed. I really do. I get my hopes up about things, I imagine things, I day dream, I really get my heart set on certain things... And they either don't turn out how I pictured or don't happen at all. And I have to admit, I am guilty as charged. I didn't necessarily try to go my own way, but I really didn't fully trust God with one aspect of my life and I was left feeling disappointed and a bit confused.

Again, another great example why it's so important to trust God with EVERY area of your life.

**Interjection that has nothing to do with my reading: We have another dog in the house named Pippen, and he is at my roommate's parent's house for the weekend while in NOLA for the Final Four, and Bella really misses him! She is sniffing all around his crate, banging on his door, going to my roommate's room scratching at the door, and she whined a little bit and laid down by his crate. Cute! And now she just moved to my roommate's suitcase and is laying in it.

When I seriously just trust God with issues, I don't generally have negative feelings. I mean, I just got this amazing job that I have been wanting for about 2 years. I have been praying for it, and I have been working hard to earn this job. Last year, when I interviewed, I didn't get it. And this year, I knew that even if I didn't get it, I would be totally happy because I just trusted God, left it up to him, and really really prayed for understanding and peace about whatever the decision was. Praise God though because I got it!!!!

And if I was my old self, I would have been so excited, called my friends, posted on FB, and really been proud. But I didn't want any of that this year. I thanked God, said some prayers, and talked to my mom and dad. I didn't want to boast about it. I didn't want to have pride in myself... Because I know that I trusted God with this area of my life, and "The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord," no matter what. God gave me the opportunity for this job for a reason. And I'm not going to abuse it by getting a big head about how "awesome" I think I am.

Let me tell you, I'm not awesome. In any way, shape, or form. I'm a fallible human being who makes so many mistakes, sins, and doesn't exemplify the disciple God called us to be everyday. But because of that cross, I am worthy to my Savior. I really am like the daughter from Luke (and other gospels) who was raised from the dead.


One thing though, it never really made sense why Jesus didn't want them to tell anyone. Can anyone explain that?

God bless,
Lauren