Day 118

Just another dreary and rainy day in Lawrence, Kansas, but thank God for rain. Thank you that it nourishes the Earth, that it wipes away the dirt and dust, that it makes the trees and shrubs greener, flowers blossom, and the wipes away bird poop on vehicles. I'm serious about that last one.

You know, I have a HUGE Shakespeare term paper due tomorrow. Of course, I only have my research done. Almost no writing done yet. Whoops. Today is going to be a long day! But the more I read the Word, the more that I'm convinced that wonderful writers of the past like D.H. Lawrence and Shakespeare and T.S. Eliot all were firm Christians. There are too many coincidences, too many similarities to biblical stories, to many allegorical Christ references.

For instance, I was reading the story in Judges this morning of Abimelech and his army and all of that. That sounds suspiciously like part of Hamlet's plot line!

I think it's absolutely wonderful that some of the most amazing philosophers, teachers, writers all believed and held true to the Word of God. They searched for knowledge, and they searched for what God means. And they believed in it wholeheartedly.

Where did we ever get the idea that to be a scholar is to be agnostic or atheist? Where did we ever get the idea that God doesn't matter in the academic world? Where did we ever get the idea that to be a Christian is below intelligence?

Believe it or not, I have heard all these arguments in a college setting. And honestly, the more I study the Bible, the more ridiculous these claims become.

I was having a discussion on Friday with a professor, and I asked him out right if he was a Christian. And he said, "Absolutely. The Bible is the only book that has no discrepancies or contradictorily with history and fact. There are actual records of Jesus. There are documents of the temple collapsing at his death. And more than one account, too. There are martyrs who at their end still proclaimed Jesus and when disciples like Paul were killed, supernatural things occurred. You can't be a person of intelligence and not believe there is God. You cannot believe that this world runs on its own accord. You cannot believe there is not afterlife."

A professor said that to me.

And the more I study, the more I agree. God is everywhere. And I am just absolutely so thankful, so blessed, so humbled before my God. I thank him for the air I breathe, the 20 years I have been on this earth.

And most of all, I thank him for my amazing family. The more I'm away, the more people I meet, the more I am truly understanding of the wonderful upbringing I had, and the wonderful parents I have who have always guided me towards God's path and pushed me to be a better person.

Thank you, Lord, for my family, for the wonderful historians and writers who helped validate the Bible for so many, and who gave us wonderful literature so that in a college course we have interesting things to talk about in term papers.

God bless,
Lauren

Day 116

I won't take long today because I'm running late (oops :)

Luke 23:42
"Jesus, remember me, when you come into your kingdom."

I not only love that hymn, I love what that means. I am the lowest and I do not think that I am worthy of the riches that the Kingdom has.

As we finish up the semester, as we finish up this month, I'm thinking about my monthly goals, and I didn't complete all of them. But you know what? I still have month. And I will definitely try and be more diligent.

I am just so blessed. And I am so thankful that I can hardly put this into words this morning. I love my life and I love my God. And I wouldn't have it any other way, despite the hardships and stress that pop up.

God bless,
Lauren

Day 115

I have been going through some pretty rough stuff, but the power of prayer is amazing.

I have had so much work to do. I have had trouble with some people in my life, but the Lord is good because I can see his hand in everything that happens to me.

I read from Luke this morning of Jesus' trial and suffering... And even though we had Easter, it is still just as powerful.

Jesus went through all of this-the betrayal, the pain, the humiliation, the martyrdom-so that when I go through some difficult times in my life, I have a Savior who can deliver me, just as he delivered me that day on the cross.

I am worthy of this. I am worthy of grace. And I am so worthy of this life.

It's not a "testimony" without a "test."

Isaiah 40:28-31 (one of my favorite verses)
Do you not know?
   Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
   the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
   and his understanding no one can fathom.
 He gives strength to the weary
   and increases the power of the weak.
 Even youths grow tired and weary,
   and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint.

Pray for me. Pray that I have strength, renewed energy, and an open mind. Pray that I find the right things to do and say. 

God bless,
Lauren

Day 114

Today is going to be a huge coffee day. And a big Kleenex day. Allergies are KILLING me!

Last night was a rough night of sleep to say the least. I have almost zero energy and one of the biggest days I will have in the next few weeks.

But the Lord is good, the Lord provides, and I will get through today and my week. I will get all the things I have to do done, and I will do them with all my heart.

Colossians 3:23 says "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men."

And I definitely don't do that. Sometimes I don't do things up to a greater standard because my heart is only working for man. It's only pursuing selfish desires. It's not doing work for a higher purpose... And that's my fault. Everything from driving to doing homework needs to be done at the Lord's standard and not just "sufficient."

Jael did it right when she drove the tent nail into Sisera's head. She didn't do it half-par (I don't know if that's really a term), I mean, she drove that sucker and became the heroine for the Israelites and played one of the most significant parts in their victory.

Now, my critical mind of course approaches this not only a tale of the "underdog" and what a nation can do when God is on your side, but a story of the drive and favor that women have. Women can be heroine's, disciples, and miracle-workers as well. Women play a huge part in God's divine plan.

I'm going to try to live up to that today--being part of something absolutely greater than myself, and hitting the nail on the head in everything I do. (haha :)

God bless,
Lauren

Day 112

Bella slept all day yesterday. ALL day. I was so jealous. Here I was slaving away at my homework (over 12 hours solid by the way), and she was snoring so loudly! Then last night, she slept all night! Except...

Here's my story:

I went to bed around 1, which is seriously unusual for me because I usually wake up early, get ready, get up and about so I'm fully awake by the time I have to be at school. Bella slept with me last night because she was already on my bed knocked out, and she has just been so good lately, I decided to let her have this treat of sleeping with Mommy (she normally sleeps in her crate). But at 3:30, she comes over from the foot of the bed, licks my fingers, then my face, and then curls up right next to me. It was just so darn cute I couldn't be mad about her waking me up. And sure enough, she was still in that position when I woke up. When my alarm went off, she gave me this look like, "Mom, please turn that off so I can sleep please. Thanks." So I shower, get dressed and ready, and am about to make my bed, and Bella had taken up my whole spot. What a pup. So I moved her down to her bed on the floor and made my bed, and then moved her bed out into the living room--she didn't even wake up; she snored the whole time.


You may be wondering, "What has this got to do with your Bible reading today, Lauren? I know Bella is cute, but seriously..."

I was wondering that before I typed it. And I just keep thinking how wonderful Bella is. How much blind faith she has in me. How she trusts me. How she loves me unconditionally. I want to be worthy of that. I want to measure up to what her little doggy brain thinks of me.

My God is like that. My God loves me unconditionally. My God is rooting for me, counting on me, yearning to be close to me. And I don't have the faith that Bella has in me. I want that. I desire it so much.

"Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him."
Psalm 91:1-2

I have walked through some pretty dark shadows in my lifetime, and the Lord has always shown me the light, shown me the way. He has always delivered me from the depths of evil and set me on his path towards righteousness. That's my God. I trust him.

I haven't walked through a dark shadow in awhile, and I am so grateful and blessed for that. Yes, I'm going through a stressful time with school because I have so much to do, but I trust that my God will give me the strength and measure to do it. I know that my God will bring me to safety, and will give me peace and rest.

He does this everyday, and sometimes I just don't even realize it.

Challenge for the day:

Whenever you're feeling stressed out about something, take a deep breath, and just say a quick prayer to God.

In my world, I bring new meaning to the word "quickie;" it means a quick prayer, a sense of satisfaction in the alone time with my God.

Do it a quickie today!

God bless,
Lauren

Day 111

Yesterday, was a busy day activity wise, and I should have gotten a lot of homework done, but I made some different choices and watched One Tree Hill, cooked, and cleaned instead. It was wonderful! But today I'm going to really hit it hard. I have some energy and some drive to get a lot of stuff done.

One of today's stories really moved me. Well, they all do, but every time I read this one, I honestly tear up a little bit.

"While Jesus was in the Temple, he watched the rich people dropping their gifts in the collection box. ² Then a poor widow came by and dropped in two small coins.
³ “I tell you the truth,” Jesus said, “this poor widow has given more than all the rest of them. ⁴ For they have given a tiny part of their surplus, but she, poor as she is, has given everything she has.”"

Luke 21:1-4 


This woman, who has no one.. Gave everything she had for the sake of Jesus. She sacrificed more than she realistically could because she knew these things didn't matter in this life. 


I just want to have that selfless sacrifice. I just want to be able to give all that I have without worrying what I'm going to do next. I try not to worry, I try to just trust God... But I just can't fully abandon all of my cares and fears of this life.


I'm not stressed about anything, and I do trust God, but not absolutely completely. And it's something I have to work on everyday. God will provide. I just need to remain faithful in all that I say and do. It's not about me, it's not about this life, it's about the discipleship I can give to God.


God bless,
Lauren

Day 109

The blogging website went through an update! So I didn't know how to navigate the site yesterday to write a post. But today, I'm just going to include a Psalm. This psalm really made me cry this morning because it was so beautiful.

Psalm 89

A psalm of Ethan the Ezrahite.

¹ I will sing of the Lord’s unfailing love forever!
    Young and old will hear of your faithfulness.
² Your unfailing love will last forever.
    Your faithfulness is as enduring as the heavens.

³ The Lord said, “I have made a covenant with David, my chosen servant.
    I have sworn this oath to him:
⁴ ‘I will establish your descendants as kings forever;
    they will sit on your throne from now until eternity.’” Interlude
⁵ All heaven will praise your great wonders, Lord;
    myriads of angels will praise you for your faithfulness.
⁶ For who in all of heaven can compare with the Lord?
    What mightiest angel is anything like the Lord?
⁷ The highest angelic powers stand in awe of God.
    He is far more awesome than all who surround his throne.
⁸ O Lord God of Heaven’s Armies!
    Where is there anyone as mighty as you, O Lord?
    You are entirely faithful.

⁹ You rule the oceans.
    You subdue their storm-tossed waves.
¹⁰ You crushed the great sea monster.^[b]
    You scattered your enemies with your mighty arm.
¹¹ The heavens are yours, and the earth is yours;
    everything in the world is yours—you created it all.
¹² You created north and south.
    Mount Tabor and Mount Hermon praise your name.
¹³ Powerful is your arm!
    Strong is your hand!
    Your right hand is lifted high in glorious strength.
¹⁴ Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne.
    Unfailing love and truth walk before you as attendants.
¹⁵ Happy are those who hear the joyful call to worship,
    for they will walk in the light of your presence, Lord.
¹⁶ They rejoice all day long in your wonderful reputation.
    They exult in your righteousness.
¹⁷ You are their glorious strength.
    It pleases you to make us strong.
¹⁸ Yes, our protection comes from the Lord,
    and he, the Holy One of Israel, has given us our king.

¹⁹ Long ago you spoke in a vision to your faithful people.
You said, “I have raised up a warrior.
    I have selected him from the common people to be king.
²⁰ I have found my servant David.
    I have anointed him with my holy oil.
²¹ I will steady him with my hand;
    with my powerful arm I will make him strong.
²² His enemies will not defeat him,
    nor will the wicked overpower him.
²³ I will beat down his adversaries before him
    and destroy those who hate him.
²⁴ My faithfulness and unfailing love will be with him,
    and by my authority he will grow in power.
²⁵ I will extend his rule over the sea,
    his dominion over the rivers.
²⁶ And he will call out to me, ‘You are my Father,
    my God, and the Rock of my salvation.’
²⁷ I will make him my firstborn son,
    the mightiest king on earth.
²⁸ I will love him and be kind to him forever;
    my covenant with him will never end.
²⁹ I will preserve an heir for him;
    his throne will be as endless as the days of heaven.
³⁰ But if his descendants forsake my instructions
    and fail to obey my regulations,
³¹ if they do not obey my decrees
    and fail to keep my commands,
³² then I will punish their sin with the rod,
    and their disobedience with beating.
³³ But I will never stop loving him
    nor fail to keep my promise to him.
³⁴ No, I will not break my covenant;
    I will not take back a single word I said.
³⁵ I have sworn an oath to David,
    and in my holiness I cannot lie:
³⁶ His dynasty will go on forever;
    his kingdom will endure as the sun.
³⁷ It will be as eternal as the moon,
    my faithful witness in the sky!” Interlude

³⁸ But now you have rejected him and cast him off.
    You are angry with your anointed king.
³⁹ You have renounced your covenant with him;
    you have thrown his crown in the dust.
⁴⁰ You have broken down the walls protecting him
    and ruined every fort defending him.
⁴¹ Everyone who comes along has robbed him,
    and he has become a joke to his neighbors.
⁴² You have strengthened his enemies
    and made them all rejoice.
⁴³ You have made his sword useless
    and refused to help him in battle.
⁴⁴ You have ended his splendor
    and overturned his throne.
⁴⁵ You have made him old before his time
    and publicly disgraced him. Interlude

⁴⁶ O Lord, how long will this go on?
    Will you hide yourself forever?
    How long will your anger burn like fire?
⁴⁷ Remember how short my life is,
    how empty and futile this human existence!
⁴⁸ No one can live forever; all will die.
    No one can escape the power of the grave.^[c] Interlude

⁴⁹ Lord, where is your unfailing love?
    You promised it to David with a faithful pledge.
⁵⁰ Consider, Lord, how your servants are disgraced!
    I carry in my heart the insults of so many people.
⁵¹ Your enemies have mocked me, O Lord;
    they mock your anointed king wherever he goes.

⁵² Praise the Lord forever!
    Amen and amen!

Beautiful. 

God bless,

Lauren

Day 107

Ahhh... Coffee... I love the steaming and rich stuff. I love how it wakes me up when I have to get up before the sun (I think that should be against the law, by the way). I hate getting up early. I hate it when my alarm clock goes off and disturbs my circadian rhythm. I hate having to get out of my comfortable bed. I hate having to get out of my pajamas. I hate having to get out of the shower. I hate having to get ready...

But I know that I have to do all of that before I sit down with my coffee and my Bible. I know that there are certain things that I may not necessarily care for that must be done before I can enjoy myself. Starting out with my coffee and Bible each morning gets my heart in place. It helps me relax. It helps me think calmly about what needs to be done. There are so many things I need to do. There are way too many things that must be finished before school gets out. There are so many things I need to start, but it's overwhelming.

In fact, it's all overwhelming.

But then I think about the Lord. I think about his sacrifice for me so that I can have this life that I chose. I chose this life. So why do I complain about homework and reading and classes and being tired? I need to stop thinking about all of the things that I HATE about school, and start appreciating my education that I have the PRIVILEGE to receive.

I look at my sweet, sweet Bella and I may get upset that she doesn't cuddle with me when I want, or doesn't sit when I tell her, or barks at random things. But she is such a blessing in my life. She sees the person that I can be. She loves me for what I am. And gives me that unconditional love. She trusts me, and knows that I will be there for her and protect her. And when she is actually still and wanting to cuddle with me and snore on my chest, it's perfect :)

Thank God for the little things. Thank God for this life. And thank God for coffee..

God bless,
Lauren

Day 104

I guess, whenever I remembered the story of the Israelites trying to reach the Promise Land, I thought that they were cursed to wander in the desert for 40 years because of their unfaithfulness. But they really weren't wandering. They had direction and honestly, they had purpose for it taking so long. They had to defeat and conquer the land as their curse. Which, if you think about it, really wasn't a curse for them because they were able to show the power of God, and all the kings and people of the land feared them because they had the power of God.

They were able to be a witness and a disciple and an example of God's favor and omnipotent nature. I really never realized what all they went through to get to the promised land and how many trials and sufferings they endured as a people.

I feel bad for the people of Israel--it has been constant, near constant war for them since B.C. Right now, they deal with persecution from all sides; the US (subtly of course), Iran, Palestine, and other nations don't show favor to Israel- God's Holy Land.

I guess that shows that people do actually believe in something. You know, I don't buy "atheism." Because to believe in nothing is to believe in something. And to completely deny the presence of God is to recognize God. To rebel against something means that thing you are rebelling against means something to you--anything.

Maybe it's fear? Maybe that's why sometimes I don't embrace all that I can be, all that God calls me to be? Maybe I'm afraid of what he'll ask of me. Maybe I'm afraid of the cost. Maybe I'm afraid what I'll find...

I'm not sure. I feel though, that I rebel sometimes. I feel like I'm an Israelite at times, destined to wander. But unlike what I initially thought about their pilgrimage, they had a purpose, and a calling, and a destiny. Their wandering meant something to everyone. Their wandering was all for the name of God.

You know, I don't know where my life is going. I don't know sometimes what I'm doing nor why I'm doing it. But I know that I want my journey to have purpose, to have a mission, to have significance. I don't want to rebel and be unfaithful to my God. I don't want to be cursed my entire life and not see my promised land.

I want you, God.

God bless,
Lauren

103

Tonight, we are supposed to have some horrid weather. And I believe it! Bella is acting weird.. well.. weirder than normal.

I have this friend whose faith I admire like no other. This person seriously is so amazing and so inspiring! This was their facebook status this morning:

"Well, if I wake up in the morning and a tornado has taken my car, I'll know God wanted to take it for a test drive. No worries, it's His anyways."

Now that is awesome! I kind of feel the same. I'm not anxious, I'm not nervous, I'm not worried... I'm just at peace. Whatever happens is all about God! And this is just to show his mighty power and ultimately his grace.

Do y'all remember in Forest Gump how Lieutenant Dan was challenging God on the boat, and it happened to be a hurricane, yet their boat was the only one to survive? God makes covenants with us. Look at Joshua, Noah, Abraham, Moses, Isaac, Rebekah, Ruth, Sarah... I mean God seriously does what he says he will. God protects those who follow him. God punishes those who deserve it.

We are servants of the most amazing God. We are living our BEST life!

I have never been happier than in these few moments. I have never felt more secure about myself, confident in my abilities, or proud of myself than in these few months.

I think others notice a change as well. Honestly. Yesterday, I had just gotten out of a graduation advising appointment (oh.... my.. gosh..) and I saw one of my professors. She went out of her way to stop me and tell me what a joy that I am. That she loves my enthusiasm, my passion, and my insight. That I have been wonderful to have in her class and I am such a great student. I mean who does that?!

I go to such an amazing school, and I am blessed by such an awesome God to have the opportunities that I do! And I am blessed to show my enthusiasm and passion for life in all things. God makes all things great, and wonderful, and possible, and WHOLE. I feel complete. I feel content. I feel satisfied. And all I know, is I am just constantly hungry for God's word.

I love these stories. I love the message they tell. I love how the Bible is just.. perfect. It's the ultimate love story, the ultimate rule book, the ultimate self-help book, the ultimate story book... It's everything. It's all I need.

Man do I love this life!!!!!!

God bless,
Lauren

Day 102

Happy Friday the 13th!

So I really want to sign up for this event called the Zombie Infested 5K Obstacle Course.... Weird? Maybe. But it's serious motivation to run!

It's basically this race, this obstacle course, that could be a 5K or a 10K depending on the course that you take. And well, zombies chase you and try to turn you into a zombie. You have a flag belt like in flag football, and when they take one, you lose a life. You have 5 lives, and after that, you become a zombie! But, along the way, if you find health packs, it's like an immunization, and they can't take away your health pack!

Anyhow, it sounds amazing and fun. You get dirty, you got nasty.. But oh my I want to do this!!

But, I got to thinking about it in the context of my faith (oh gotta love the metaphors), and it really is like my life! I'm running every which way trying to find the finish line, trying to get over these obstacles, trying not to slide in the mud, trying to protect myself from the elements, and definitely running from zombies trying to turn me into one of them.

I'm alive because of Jesus! I'm living, breathing, and not virus-zombie infected... for sure. But those people who are zombies have no control over their lives. They have let the enemy in.. They have no hope.. They have no immunization (which is Jesus ;). They are just the living dead. That's honestly how I was before really getting to know my Savior. I was the living dead.

This Zombie race means more to me because I know that I used to be a zombie, and now, I'm trying to run far from it, look ahead not back, and get over these obstacles to reach the finish line. I think that my race is a little bit longer because I'm only 20 (well, in a couple of weeks), but I can do this!

I have my team supporting me, I have my Lord at the end encouraging me, and I have my health pack!

God bless,
Lauren

Day 101

I don't have an awful lot to say today (because I'm running a bit late), but I do want to say that today's reading was fantastic.

The passage from Joshua was about how one man can change the fate of an entire nation. One man stole from God's treasury and doomed thousands upon thousands. One man was able to lose favor in God's eyes for all of Israel... Because of his greed. But the best part of the story? God knows. And God is going to call out the guilty one.. Although the punishment is grotesque (burning to death), what you do will never go under the eyes of God.

It's like being on a diet, and you aren't able to eat certain things, but you do anyways. Others may not know, and you might deny it to yourself, but that doesn't change the fact that that food is in your body...

Then the prodigal son. Probably one of my favorite stories. And it's honestly because I identify with both brothers and their faults. I identity with the younger brother because there are definitely times that I wander, that I falter, that I stray away, that I abuse my inheritance of eternal life, that I am not appreciate of the things that I have... But when I come back, it's absolutely glorious.

And I also identify with the older brother because whenever I'm doing right- when I'm praying, talking to God, obeying his word, living my life for him... I stand on my own self-righteousness and are not humble before the Lord. I don't realize that I am both the older and younger brothers combined and so I get angry with those who do terrible things and then ask for forgiveness because I don't feel like they deserve it when here I am doing right.

But we all deserve it. And that's just a very hard concept to think about. We all deserve God's love and forgiveness. Jesus told us that we deserve it when he hung on that cross. Jesus told us we deserve it when he rose from the dead. God told us we deserve it when he created us from dust.

We deserve this life. We deserve this love. We deserve this forgiveness. But we owe it to ourselves to live humbly, live graciously, and walk by faith.

God bless,
Lauren

Day 100

You know how when you start a diet, or a "healthier lifestyle," the first thing you change is your nutrition--you change your insides? That's what I feel like these 100 days has been about for me--changing myself from the inside out.

But it is amazing what the outer influences can do to your inner workings. Music, movies, books, class discussions, friends, even family. One thing that I know that is absolutely essential in living for God though, is sacrifice. It's kind of a key tenet of being a Jesus follower. Luke 14:33 says, "So you cannot become my disciple without giving up everything you own."

There it is. It's amazing how the Word actually tells you how to live your life, and isn't just there to open on Sunday Mornings. There have been mornings where all I want to do is sleep in those extra 30 minutes where I do my Bible time. There have been times where I just don't feel like reading through long lists of not the most exciting stuff in the Old Testament. There are times when some of the readings seem a bit monotonous, but the power of God always shines through.

I'm not going to say that I have made some huge sacrifice--I haven't given up my entire life to be a missionary overseas, but I have completely changed my life and sacrificed in my own ways. I think sacrifice is all relative, though. God has huge plans for me in my life, and going to school is one of them. I haven't felt the call to drop everything... And so I don't think that's in the cards for me at this point in time.

God has a perfect and absolutely beautiful plan for everything. My sacrifice, my cross, has been abandoning pleasures that I used to relish in. It's about actually humbling myself and sometimes remaining silent than to try and lift myself up.

And let me be the first to tell you that I fail nearly everyday. Pretty much. But that's what is so fantastic and wonderful about grace. How we can stumble, fall, and not feel like getting back up everyday, but God is here to lift us up and wipe off the dirt. He's here to say, "Let's go... I am with you always."

Always.. And forever... Seriously. I just love my God.

Does anyone need any prayers? Please feel free to ask and I'll add you to my prayer list.

God bless,
Lauren

Day 99

Do you guys remember that song from Veggie Tales "Joshua Fought the Battle of Jericho?" Loved it. I think that Joshua is one of my favorite books of the Bible. I love Joshua! I always told myself if I had a son, I would love to name him Joshua (with Kent as a middle name after my Daddy :). Joshua was such an amazing man and leader. He really loved God and wanted to follow him.

I'm so glad that I started that book this morning. I mean, there is NO way that the Israelites should have won that battle. They were outnumbered, exhausted from traveling, and sure didn't have all of the weapons. It just goes to show that everything is possible with God.

God was watching over them and protecting them. God was in control. God was in charge. God was going to get his way... And he really trusted Joshua. I do though wonder what it was like for Joshua. Relatively young, coming after Moses; MOSES! One of the greatest prophets... ever.

This morning, Rahab was the one helped Joshua's spies get away, to flee to safety, to get information. Rahab who had every reason to scorn these men. She was already tainted in God's eyes because of her prostitution, yet she feared the Lord and wanted to help anyways.

I think she is an unseen hero in this part of the story, and she gets saved, she has her own sort of "passover" because they were going to spare her and her family when they came to take Jericho.

So here I am this morning, drinking my coffee as usual, having two puppies play at my feet (Bella does sound like ET when she tries to growl. Ha) and I am just thankful. I am so thankful that God is on my side. That God wants me to succeed. That God wants me to enter his house and be received like the daughter I am.

I am here, Lord. I'm willing to fight. I'm willing to answer your call. I'm willing to do what is right, no matter the cost. Pick me!! Pick me like you picked Joshua!

God bless,
Lauren

Day 98

Finally back home in Lawrence... It was one busy, busy, weekend that's for sure! I never realized all of the work a church service takes. It's grueling. But, whenever it's done, the power of God is present for sure and it's all amazing!

Yesterday was probably one of the best worship services I have ever been at. And the message just was great because my heart was in the right place.

I am still exhausted. I don't know how I am going to get anything else done! But I know that God is just really working in my life. I may not have come back from home physically renewed, but definitely spiritually. I had an amazing time with my family, got to know some friends better and had great times with them, and really got to spend some quality time with my Lord.

One thing though, is that whenever you're busy with things... Like really busy, how I am with school.. We lose sight of our purpose, our focus... But this weekend made me realize all of the behind the scenes work done for God... He is the purpose, the main man, the guy who everyone pushes themselves for.

What's my motives with school? What's my drive?

If it's to make good grades, then I'm on point... But I'm trying to be a disciple and follower in all that I do. Am I doing enough?

God bless,
Lauren

Day 95

It feels great to be home. My amazing friend and mentor from church blessed me with a plane ticket home, and I am absolutely so grateful. I know I have said this before, but living away has truly made my family and I closer because we appreciate it all that much more!

Today's Word was amazing. Well, it's always amazing, but today in particular.

“The Lord your God will change your heart and the hearts of all your descendants, so that you will love him with all your heart and soul and so you may live! ⁷ The Lord your God will inflict all these curses on your enemies and on those who hate and persecute you. ⁸ Then you will again obey the Lord and keep all his commands that I am giving you today.
⁹ “The Lord your God will then make you successful in everything you do. He will give you many children and numerous livestock, and he will cause your fields to produce abundant harvests, for the Lord will again delight in being good to you as he was to your ancestors. ¹⁰ The Lord your God will delight in you if you obey his voice and keep the commands and decrees written in this Book of Instruction, and if you turn to the Lord your God with all your heart and soul."
Deuteronomy 30:6-10

I love how the Bible is the "Book of Instruction." It's also called the "Book of the Law," and the "Book of Revelation."  Basically, the Book of Truth on how to live your life. I just think that is absolutely so powerful. Everything, and I mean everything, we need to know about life we can gather from His Word. He has laid it out right here... This is the ultimate "Self-Help Book." 


The Lord will make us successful in EVERYTHING we do. EVERYTHING. But there is a big clause with that... 'IF' you obey His book. And that's only if. And if you turn to the Lord with all of your heart and soul. All of it.


That really means to me that I must abandon my worldly desires and wishes for a higher calling. Abandon my temporal desires for a celestial one. And honestly, I haven't done that fully yet. I'm still concerned with things like money, and material items... I think it's truly hard not to be. But I'm really getting to that point where it's all up to God. My relationships, my friendships, my family, my finances, my law school stuff... I'm trusting God with where he will lead me and I worry less now than when I didn't trust God!


He died on that cross so that we can trust him, so that we can have EVERYTHING... And he paid the ultimate sacrifice. Can I?


Thank you, thank you, thank you God...


God bless,
Lauren

Day 93

"“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened."
-Luke 11:9-10

Love it. 

Let me tell you though, there are a lot of things that we ask for that God knows is not in our plan. I think that asking though, is asking for God's forgiveness and presence in our lives. I don't think it's material objects. I just love this passage because sometimes, when things don't go the way we want, we get frustrated and angry... But just asking for God's peace, understanding, will really, really help. It will be given to you, the doors will be open, and you will find rest. 

I've learned though, you can't just say: "God, please have this guy like me... God, please let my parents give me permission to go to this party... God, please give me enough money to buy this outfit..."

No.

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."
Matthew 6:33

If what you are asking for is glorifying to God. If what you're asking for is in His plan. If what you are asking for is the absolute best... Then, well yeah. 

This is something I struggle with. Accepting that my will may not be God's will. 

I need to stop asking God for things that I want, and focus on seeking him with my actions. Then the rest will come into play!

God bless,
Lauren

Day 92

Allergies are killer this time of year. The pollen count is especially high today. But that's okay :) At least that's a sign it's almost spring!

I'm not sure if anyone watches basketball, but KU played in the National Championship last night, and lost... It was sad and I really almost cried. But you know what? The guys played their hearts out and just weren't the better time. You can do "what if's" all day, but it doesn't change reality at all.


"We thank you, O God!"
Psalm 75:1

Truly, we do.

I guess now I have to get back to real life. For months now, my priorities and activities have centered around KU basketball, but I suppose I can work more, go back to the rec more, and actually get my homework done in a timely manner.

It's funny how we prioritize our lives and our resources. I mean, things are really different in college, different than anything in the outside world. My best friend Jennifer and I were talking, and we were wondering what it's like to come home from your day, and actually have nothing to do because work is over! You can just go on a walk with your dog, cook yourself some dinner, read books for pleasure, have a glass of wine with friends... I just can't imagine.

And I can't imagine being in the place where Jesus was... I really, really would love to go to Israel. To walk in the place where Jesus walked, to go to the spot where his blood shed, to go to the Mount of Olives where he stayed, to go to Gethsemane and pray where Jesus prayed.

This week means something completely different. And honestly, because I have had my priorities in KU Basketball, I haven't been giving this week the attention that it needs. This is the week where Jesus suffered unimaginable suffering, the suffering that I deserved, because he loves me. Because he knew God's plan. Because he was willing to carry out any wish of the Father.

Father. Gosh that word means something so different than we associate it with. Father. Abba. God. Omega. Sometimes moments of thankfulness just hit you. Moments where you know how the Lord feels for you, and what this week means.

"Even though I walk through the valley
Of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle
Of the storms of this life
I won't turn back, I know You are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming
For the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

Yes, I can see a light that is coming
For the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me"

God bless,
Lauren

Day 91

Yesterday was quite a busy day for me. Went to church for Palm Sunday (great service at Church of the Resurrection), and pretty much studied a TON for a major test I had today. You know, I am a little nervous, but not as anxious as I was for the last test. I think it's just because I've got the power of the Holy Spirit. So take that Latin IV!

But seriously, from my recollection of the horrors at Sodom and Gomorrah, I would not want to end up like that. The story from Luke was where Jesus was sending out his disciples to get workers for the harvest:

"

10 The Lord now chose seventy-two^[a] other disciples and sent them ahead in pairs to all the towns and places he planned to visit. ² These were his instructions to them: “The harvest is great, but the workers are few. So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more workers into his fields. ³ Now go, and remember that I am sending you out as lambs among wolves. ⁴ Don’t take any money with you, nor a traveler’s bag, nor an extra pair of sandals. And don’t stop to greet anyone on the road.

⁵ “Whenever you enter someone’s home, first say, ‘May God’s peace be on this house.’ ⁶ If those who live there are peaceful, the blessing will stand; if they are not, the blessing will return to you. ⁷ Don’t move around from home to home. Stay in one place, eating and drinking what they provide. Don’t hesitate to accept hospitality, because those who work deserve their pay.
⁸ “If you enter a town and it welcomes you, eat whatever is set before you. ⁹ Heal the sick, and tell them, ‘The Kingdom of God is near you now.’ ¹⁰ But if a town refuses to welcome you, go out into its streets and say, ¹¹ ‘We wipe even the dust of your town from our feet to show that we have abandoned you to your fate. And know this—the Kingdom of God is near!’ ¹² I assure you, even wicked Sodom will be better off than such a town on judgment day."

Luke 10:1-12

I can't imagine being WORSE off! And that's just if a town doesn't receive Jesus! What if you were actually a believer of Jesus in that town! Well, I guess you would go to Heaven? I'm not sure. But I definitely would not want to be on the wrong end of that. 

I think I wrote a few blog posts ago about the fascination I had with the roots and foundation metaphor, well Jesus always refers to his kingdom as "harvest" and the plants, the workers, the shepherds--the people of the land. Now this may be a bit of an elite-est interpretation, but I think that has to do with character more than actual job description. In my mind, people of the land are humble, they are servants to the land, they work hard to provide for their families, they aren't proud, rude, nor are they concerned with money and how to spend it. They take what they earn and they use it frugally and to the best of their abilities.


Now, that's a very gross generalization, but I honestly feel like, according to other passages as well, that by taking on the character of the "least of these," the lowly and humble, we are just happier because we aren't so much concerned about the cares of this world. We would just take care of God's creation and live our lives. 


I don't believe (and I am by no means a Bible scholar), but so far in my readings, that God ever refers to his followers as the Lawyers, the Pharisees (obviously), or any high-ranking official who cares more about cultivating the world than cultivating God's creation.


It's just interesting is all. Says someone wanting to go into the corporate world lol.


God bless,
Lauren